I really despise cops with a passion. Every time I see one I just want to punch them in the face. Then, I want to stab their fucking eyes out. Maybe cut their pig nose right off their face.
So, I'm in the hardware store picking up some tools that would work well for tearing some skin off some poor bastard. And I find a stupid pig cop harassing some poor cunt because he thought she stole something. So I sidle up to him and ask in my most polite voice "What the fuck is your problem piggy?"
"Mind your own damn business pal," he says, with a smirk. He turns back to the girl to keep pestering her.
"Eat my asshole, you dirty fucking pig," I said as I spat in his face. I figured that would get his attention away from the poor shoplifter.
"Want a piece of me, asshole?" said the little piggy.
"Fuck off." I said, and started to walk out the store, to my car. I figured that he would probably follow me out if I ignored him. And so, he did.
When I got to my car, I turned around and saw him right on my heels. I pulled out my taser and jabbed him in the neck with it. He went down like a bag of bricks, like most people do. Dragged him into the back seat of my car and then went back into the store to finish purchasing some much needed hardware. Gotta make that pig squeal.
On the drive home, he woke up just a little bit, so I smacked him in the face a few times with one of the big ass hammers I had just bought. Broke a few teeth or something because he was drooling blood something fierce after that.
Tased him again when I got home just to make it easier to lift him inside and down to the basement. I strapped him to a hand truck and rolled his ass right into the house. When I had him down in the basement, I took off all his clothes, and strapped him in a standing position up against a load bearing beam in the center of the basement. Tied a noose around his neck and pulled it taught to one of the rafters above.
To wake him up, I tossed a cup of water on him. He only stirred a little, so I hooked up the car battery and shocked the fuck out of his testicles. He was wide awake after that.
"Holy shit!" he screamed. "What the fuck are you doing, man? I'm a goddamn cop, you know. You can't mess with the police, man. They'll get you for sure. NO, PUT THAT FUCKING HAMMER DOWN MAN. FUCK NO GODDAMNIT..."
This pleading of his made me grin. So cute. "What, this hammer?" I asked, with all the attitude I could muster.
"Fuck man, yes, that fucking hammer. What the...?!" he stammered.
Then, I smashed both his kneecaps to a pulp. He screamed the whole time and I just laughed and laughed. "You cops are great," I said. "I should totally do this more often." More screams.
He started to plead with me after I had cut off most of the fingers on his left hand. "Oh please, man. Please, just let me go. I got a wife and kids, man. They need me. Just let me go and I swear to God that I won't tell anyone. Seriously. Please, man..." he went on and on like that. Cracked me up.
I just laughed and put a few of his severed fingers up his rectum, just for the fun of it. Then I attached the jumper cables to his tiny little cock and watched him squirm and wet himself for several minutes.
"Goddamn, this is fun. Aren't you enjoying yourself, piggy?" I said, with a smile.
"FUCK FUCK FUCKING AHHHHHHHHHH!" was all he said, as he still convulsed and squirmed from the cables on his cock.
"Priceless," I said as I took a picture. "Just priceless."
After a few more minutes, I took the cables off his cock. Then I took a pair of pruning shears and cut off his cock and balls. "You look famished." I said as I shoved his cock and balls in his mouth. He tried to spit them out just as soon as I put them in, so I crammed them farther down his throat and put a ball gag on him so he couldn't spit them out. I thought he might choke to death, but it was worth the risk. I just didn't want him dead quite yet.
I pulled off his little piggy nose with a pair of pliers. Just little pieces at a time. All the while saying "... and this little piggy went..." bla bla bla. So funny.
After the nose removal he was really having trouble breathing, because his nose holes were just covered in drooling blood. So, I loosened the straps that held him standing up against the beam and just let gravity finish the job with the noose. His knees couldn't hold him up because they were thrashed so he just sank into the noose and probably choked on his cock and balls at the same time.
It was quite a show.
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DISCLAIMER: This is fiction, you fucking idiots. It's just a goddamn story.
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